With Thanksgiving right around the corner and everyone sharing on Facebook their reasons for being thankful, I, of course, have been contemplating what exactly I have to be thankful for this year.
If you follow my blog, you’re well aware that this has been a hell of a year for me. In the last 11 months I’ve lost my Dad unexpectedly, quit my side job and started relying solely on fitness-related income, moved gyms, moved houses, started my blog, and gone through some major shifts in my personal life. I keep saying that this year has been the worst year of my life personally, and the best year of my life professionally.
I can’t lie, it’s very bittersweet to be experiencing some semblance of professional success and not being able to share it with my Dad. Lucky for me, he constantly told me how proud he was of me, and how he knew I would do great things. So I know he is watching over me and smiling.
So back to my question…is there anything to be thankful for? If so, what is it? My answer? Everything.
The good, the bad, the ugly – I am thankful for all of it. Of course I am not thankful that I lost my Dad…but since you cannot control what happens to you, only how you react to it, then:
I choose to be thankful.
I choose gratitude amidst my grief.
I choose to be happy instead of sad, and joyful instead of bitter.
The silver lining of my Dad’s death has been the courage it has given me to do things I never, ever thought I could have done. It spurred me to do something really, really scary and take a huge risk because I realized I deserve nothing less than amazing in every area of my life. It helped me to not be afraid of the future because I can take comfort in the fact that no matter what happens, I will come out the other side OK. I’ve been completely heartbroken, and yet I figured out how to laugh again.
Beyond that I’ve dealt with enormous amounts of fear and uncertainty. Hell, I’ve even chosen uncertainty over certainty in many major areas of my life! It hasn’t been easy, but I am confident that in the end, it’s all worth it.
Remember, there is no growth without struggle. It’s the same in life as it is at the gym. You must experience some levels of stress and discomfort before you are forced to grow and adapt to deal with what you are going through.
So do I always feel this way? Do I always deal with things with such a happy, positive, upbeat, look-at-the-bright-side mentality? Hell no! I am human, and there are days that I just feel sad, helpless, or even angry that some horrible human beings still have the chance to live and my Dad had to die.
But while I realize these feelings are normal, and even OK to have, they do nothing to change my situation. They don’t bring my Dad back. They don’t make me a better daughter, or mean that I loved him more if I get really sad or angry.
If you know anything about my Dad, you know he loved life and was damn thankful to be here. He lived more life in one of his years than most people do in their whole lifetime. And so I choose to honor him by loving, living, and being thankful.
What are you thankful for? I’d love to hear it below.